Tuesday, April 1-- Tiger '95

I love Marc. He's a college buddy that I got to see last night. He's one of those people you know in college with whom you talk about the "big questions" till the wee hours of the morning. Religion, politics, the meaning of life-- all that fun stuff. And last night we did it again. Well, not totally. But a little. Enough. I don't really have those conversations anymore. I had one w/ Libertarian John-- the guy about to lick my face in the pictures from Fri. night. And before that I can't even remember.

Last night we mainly talked about politics. What's amazing about Marc is that he's still an idealist. A Republican. And an idealist. Who knew? He was talking about being a lawyer and how it still awes him that a judge grants an order on a piece of paper and it has the full force of "the guys w/ the guns" (as Marc called them) behind it. He's practiced law long enough to become jaded and cynical by the process but he still finds the amazement in it. We talked about the election which is when I remembered that this guy can run intellectual circles around me. It started w/ him asking, "Did you read Hillary's speech after Ohio?" and me saying, "Um...read it? No. Heard soundbites, sure." By the end of the night he was saying, "Now you've lost me." Mainly bc I wasn't making sense. Couldn't really keep up. Anyway, when I said something about him still being an idealist and me becoming a cynic, he said that he too had become cynical. We realized that we both thought that people were at the end of the day selfish, greedy and actually quite dumb. On the one hand, I think we need to elect people who have less selfish, greedy idiocy in them than I do and the role of gov't is to then protect us from ourselves. He thinks people should be allowed to make selfish, greedy, stupid decisions and live w/ the consequences. That world scares me too much. Oddly, John the Libertarian thinks that people are inherently good and will rise to challenges. Of course, he younger than we are. Anyway, despite Marc's cynical view of people, he still believes in the dialog. He's thoughtful about it. And in this 24 hr news cycle where whoever yells the loudest wins, it's refreshing.

What I really and truly love about Marc is that he brings out the best me. We have debates without fighting. He pushes me to think without getting smug or judgemental. He knows me from when I was 20 and still remembers that Michele but doesn't pin me into that box. He is so successful in his professional and private lives-- he has a lovely wife that he clearly adores and 4 kids (FOUR!) that he thinks are just the coolest people ever. But when I'm around him he doesn't make me feel like I'm missing out bc I don't have those things-- which is a big deal since I often do feel that way especially when I'm around people w/ families. When Marc & I became friends, I was still very much the same person I am now-- drinking too much, worrying about boys, making smart ass comments, being lazy & procrastinating. But I also thought about the big questions. Now I've become cynical and find people who want to change the world silly. I don't like that about myself. Last night Marc reminded me that I can still tap into that big question part of myself. It's rusty. But it's there. That's a comfort.

So here's to those big-question-college-days talks. And to cheesesteaks w/ everything on them from Hoagie Haven.