PANAMA

I went on my annual trip to Panama and this time I kept a journal. Here's what I've got. Feel free to skim.

Arrival: Days 1-3

Panama City Skyline

Not much to say about my stay in Panama City. I got in bleery eyed from a 5:30 am flight from Chicago. 4 cousins, 2 aunts & a newborn were at the hotel to greet me. I couldn't speak a work of Spanish bc. I was retardedly tired. So it was a short visit and my 1st day was mainly napping (ie. heaven).

Sun. was all family-- 1 set of cousins in the am & 1 in the pm. My Panamanian family has no concept of time or courtesy so they show up early, they show up late-- whatever. The evening was w/ my favority cousin & her family. It was lovely except that I realized that I'm related to Jesus-fish people. My cousin & her mom are devotely Catholic which I have known & accepted. I hope they're praying for me bc. God might take their phone calls. But for some reason when I saw the Jesus fish on their cars, I thought, "Wait-- what? We're in the same family?" Then again, when my mom puts on what Lori calls her doillie skirt & my dad says he thinks Bill O'Reilly really is fair & balanced, so I it's not the first time I've questioned my gene pool.

Mon. there were no plans for that day or any other. That's when I decided that instead of going to the pool & mall ea. day-- which I could do in Panama City, FL-- I'd go see the country. Don't think my parents thought I had it in me to go alone, but they also never thought that I'd move to WI & this was a much easier decision.


So we saw my crazy aunt from the country who is the Panamanian version of a Jerry Springer guest. And we went to the mall. And I decided that was enough-- booked a flight and hotel for Tues. am and was ready to go.


An aside about the mall-- the highlight was when I was buying Todd's Panama City baseball team hat. The kiosk had other US sports stuff-- Yanks, Pats, Dolphins. They all made sense bc of popularity or bc of Hispanic connections to the teams (ie. Miami). But then there was a Pistons tshirt. Huh? Do they watch the NBA in Panama? And Detroit? It was interesting. Lizzie, you would have been proud.


Escape: Days 4-7

The lovely Shannon has been to Panama and went to Bocas del Toro. Before I left on my annual family trip she, how shall I put it, STRONGLY encouraged me to ditch my folks and go to Bocas. So I did. It's an 8-10 hr. drive but since I only had a few days, I took a plane.
I kid you not-- there was a water leak in the ceiling in the plane while in flight. We were going through the clouds and there was a downpour through a seam in the ceiling. It doused a passanger. When we reached altitude, a flight attendant came over with a towel, wiped the ceiling and then gave it to the passenger to wipe himself. Ah, the 3rd world.

I kind of stumbled into my time there. I walked off the plane outside & Raul asked me if I needed a taxi, he had an excursion @ 9:30 & would pick me up.

First people I started talking to were from...MI. Instantly we were able to connect re: cold temps. and college football. Mo said she was a senior in college. Since I act like a 22 y.o., I thought hanging out w/ one would be great cover. As the day progressed, I found out that: 1. The other girl was a SOPHMORE & therefore 19-- that just seemed creepy; 2. The 19 y.o. was a Baptist & spent the summer before working @ a Christian bookstore and; 3. The 22 y.o. used the expression "What the frick?" when telling a story. Suddenly the "crazy" college girls didn't seem like the crew I should hitch my wagon to.

Bocas del Toro-- it's the providence on the border w/ Costa Rica on the Caribbean side. It's an archipelago and you get from island to island in these little boats. I can go on about the coral & starfish, the mangroves & palm trees, the thatch roof bars & brightly colored concrete houses. But at the end of the day, none of the words or pictures describe how beautiful & natural it all is. The best I can say is that it is the type of place where you can instantly see a romaticized life in which you only eat fresh fish & fruit off the trees & you have a health glow from the sun year round & you drink beer & meet new people from around the world who are in good moods because they're all on vacation every night. Or at least I could.


Back to Raul and the excursion--

First we went to Dolphin Bay and saw about 10 dolphins. I gave them a shout out from Bobbi D-- Staten Island in the house! There was one swimming right next to our boat, basically playing w/ us. Then we went snokeling. Beautiful coral-- electric purple & bright yellow & rusty red. A fair number of fish. I have no idea the names but they looked like angels, clowns & trumpets, so I'll go w/ that. Then we had lunch on the dock & I met Michael (a woman) & Bill-- married couple from Seattle. I had octupus for lunch (you inspired me JD-- as a matter of fact when I got it, Bill & Michael said, "You like octpus? You HAVE to go to Greece!") and introduced the MI girls to it. Got a thumbs up all around.


We headed to Red Frog Beach which has tiny red frongs that makes a noise like a super loud cricket. We crossed through this jungle area where we saw a monkey & on the other side was an amazing ass beach. Again-- no words. We played in the waves which I haven't done in forever. Me & Michael hit the bar w/ swings for seats which I insist will be incorporated into our Section B Rules Tropical Bar.

That night I was beat, so the night was dinner w/ the MI girls and then bed. The girls went to a bar. Which is when I realized I'm lamer than a Baptist.

Playa Bonita View

The next day, I went to Playa Bonita and just hung out on the beach reading, swimming & sleeping. I watched them unload food & alcohol on to the little dock by the bar/restaurant there & took notes so that I'll be ready for The Bar. It was interesting chatting w/ Raul who took me back and forth to the beach. He told me I had to go to Aqua for ladies night that evening. He asked which I liked dancing to better-- salsa or merengue. When I said I didn't really dance to either he gave me crap. Next thing you know he's going on about how I'm a Panamanian and I should know how to dance like a Panamanian. Thanks for the advice buddy. He asked if I was married and I told him no. Advertising that I was an unmarried woman travelling by myself was probably super stupid. So I was neither an authentic Panamanian nor a street savy New Yorker. Awesome. Anyway, I asked if he was married and he said, no, he was too young, only 27. He declared there was too much to enjoy and would get married at 40. Soundes like some boys I know in the states (you know who you are, Holestine).

Had dinner with Bill & Michael at this place called the Pickeled Parrot that's literally on top of the water. I considered it more Bar research. The owner, George, is from Kansas and used to race motorcycles. He has the mullet to prove it. He married a Panamanian & now runs this bar. He's a total character and again, makes the idea of chucking it all and living on the water all the more possible.

Went over to Aqua and met the MI girls who were WASTED. It was pretty entertaining. Met some guys from-- wait for it-- Jersey. From Belmar so at least the Jersey Shore. They were surfers take a surfing trip every year. It was so bizarre being in such a remote place and hanging out w/ guys who could have been guys I grew up with. Anyway, the drinks were stong, music loud & lots of people. The details are fuzzy but I managed not to fall, so it was a successful night.

View from my hotel dock

A couple of random things about Bocas:

• There's a significant rasta population on Bustamentos. That's what Raul told me & he said there's a big marijuana farm on one side of it. He probably bullshitted me 1/2 the time, but I believed him on this. I saw a higher than average number of dredlocked kids here. Thing is that that they were mainly poser white boys. At first I thought they were the same 2 blonde and brunette hippies that I just kept seeing all over town. I said something about it to the MI girls & they said in fact they were different blonde & brunette boys. What do I know. To me they all look alike.


• If there's any woman w/ even remotely curly hair, it's game over in Bocas. The humidity and sea air and riding in speed boats combine to bring out defiant curls. So there's this awesome wild hair culture there. My 'fro was rivalling Dr. J's.


• There's a bar/hostel culture there that's surprising. Every night there's a different bar with a special and they're all packed with young tourists. It's like Cancun spring break. Very bizarre because there aren't any chain restaurant, bars or hotels there. There's no Senor Frogs. But there's the local equivalent.

• I forgot how funny the grocery stores are in the rural parts of the 3rd world-- how you have baby formula next to motor oil next to crackers next to reams of fabric. Reminds me of those Old West movies and the General Store.

Bird Island

Thursday was my last full day in Bocas and I spent it w/ Michael & Bill and their friends who came from Panama City the night before. We went to Bird Island which was amazing. There were all these birds that our boat driver told us were called boobies. I swear. I'm pretty sure he was just trying to get us to say boobie over and over again. We then went to Bocas del Drago where I took a nap in a hammock. We have to have hammocks at The Bar. There aren't enough hammocks in the world. Lunch there and then Starfish Beach which had-- you guessed it-- starfish. We had picked up a couple of surfers at Bocas del Drago and one had a thermometer. The water was 82 degrees. I'm not sure when I've ever been so relxed. I hadn't seen tv or a paper in days. Sun, water, nothing to do. Just perfect.

Dinner was at this awesome restaurant that had so many Americans that the menu was in English and the waitstaff was all Americans. There was a HORRIBLE band playing Jimmy Buffet songs. They were so bad it was funny. And then the next day was back to Panama City. This time around there was no leaking in the plane. So that's something.

Family: Days 7-10

Miraflores Locks

I got back to Panama City and not much had changed. We went to the mall that day and again on Sun. I was in such good spirits from my time in Bocas that it was all good. Spent time with cousins that I adore-- no more looney Jerry Springer relatives. We went to the Canal which I hadn't been to since the new museum was built. It really is impressive. They have a database there and you can put in a name and see if the person worked on the Canal. My dad found out that a Theodore Bopp had worked there for about 6 mos and went around saying that his uncle helped build the Canal. My dad's birthday was Sun so we had dinner and a cake for him. It was all really lovely.

Home

Now I'm back in Chicago and it's still cold and work is busy and I'm peeling. But this may have been the best vacation I've ever had. I feel relaxed and happy with a clear head. Let's see how long that lasts...